After 65 years of marriage, being together is second nature to us. Living in a community where we can easily mingle back and forth between Assisted Living and Memory Care brings us comfort. And the best part? We still share a goodnight kiss every evening.

Phyllis & Allan Solden, Assisted Living and Memory Care residents
Mark Solden, Son and Caregiver (with dog, Jasper)

Allan and Phyllis Solden met the first week of college at Rutgers University. “I met her at a freshman mixer, and we’ve been together ever since,” said Allan. “It was love at first sight. I knew from the beginning that we were meant to be together.”

Allan and Phyllis were married after graduation, and after Allan’s two-year stint in the Army, they moved to Ocean Twp, NJ, where Allan opened his own dental practice and Phyllis taught middle school math. They raised their two children there, kept a kosher home, and were very active in their synagogue. Once their children were off to college, Allan and Phyllis went off to college, too — Allan joined the NYU College of Dentistry faculty, and Phyllis taught math at Birch Wathen Lenox School, a private school in Manhattan. “We had an apartment in New York during the week, and then we’d spend weekends at the shore. Allan still maintained his dental practice, dividing his time between teaching and practicing dentistry. We lived in NYC for 25 years. It was an adventure!”

Allan and Phyllis retired in 2012. “We gradually noticed Dad had some mild cognitive loss,” said son Mark Solden. “He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2020, but we saw symptoms long before that. Mom cared for Dad by herself for 11 years, but I needed to be mindful that my mother couldn’t shoulder all of the caregiving responsibilities by herself. When you’re the caregiver, you don’t always take care of yourself as well as you should, and I didn’t want my mother’s health to be compromised because she was caught up in caring for dad.”

In 2023, Allan needed pacemaker surgery, and that became the pivotal moment of change. “We needed a memory care program that fit him,” said Mark. “Lions Gate checked all the boxes for us — kosher food, shabbat services, Jewish holidays. We knew my dad would be happy there.”

“Allan and I have been married almost 65 years and have never really been apart,” said Phyllis. “There was an apartment available in Assisted Living, so I jumped at it. It was comforting to have us both living in the same community where we can mingle back and forth between the traditional Assisted Living and Safe Haven Memory Care neighborhoods. It’s like we’re dating again. We each do our own thing in the morning, and then Allan comes to my apartment in the afternoon. We spend time together, eat dinner together, and then I walk him back to Safe Haven in the evening. I give him a kiss at the door. The staff laughs and says it’s like watching two teenagers.”

“I have no regrets in life,” said Allan. “I’m very comfortable here.”

“We really are blessed,” said Phyllis. “Lions Gate’s Safe Haven Memory Care neighborhood is the best place for Allan at this stage of his life, and Assisted Living offers me just the right amount of support when I need it. It’s great for both of us!”